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VIScorp purchased by BLAZEMONGER INC!
Yes, Amiga fans, the rumors are true! As of six hours ago, VIScorp has
been purchased in a surprise takeover by BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED. VIScorp
chief honcho and generally cool guy Carl Saskatchewan is reportedly
"delighted" with the acquisition and looks forward to an "er... unusual
product line" to be introduced at next month's WORLD OF BLAZEMONGER
conference in Chickenmilk, Wisconsin.
Among the products to be introduced at the W.O.B. are:
o The Amiga ST: a set-top computer that, when attached to any television
set, automatically converts all incoming programs into reruns of
o Sidecar II, an IBM PC emulator roughly the size of the Queen Elizabeth II
luxury liner. Comes complete with torpedos.
o BLAZESCAPE, the ONLY World Wide Web browser capable of connecting to
ALTERNATE DIMENSIONS. Features multithreading, HTML 6.0, and new Virtual
Java (TM) which beams cool animations DIRECTLY into your CEREBRAL CORTEX
with a sledgehammer.
o The AmigaBICEP 5000, their new top-of-the-line computer. In direct
contrast to the original Amiga 1000, which used an off-the-shelf CPU and a
custom graphics chipset, BLAZEMONGER INCORPORATED has decided to use an
off-the-shelf graphics chipset and a custom CPU. Known as the BLAZEIUM
chip, this little speed demon runs at a blazing 2,000,000 tychohertz (10 to
the power 8275, base 19) and features over EIGHT BILLION REGISTERS for the
ULTIMATE in hardware banging!!!
o And of course, BLAZEMONGER MCXLVII: "FATAL DEATH KILLERS OF ARMAGEDDON."
[Availability is pending the overturn of the Communications Decency Act,
and possibly the Geneva Convention.]
See you in Chickenmilk!!
| Dan Barrett -- Computer Science Dept, University of MA, Amherst, MA 01003 |
| http://www.cs.umass.edu/~barrett/public.html -- email@example.com |
Copyright 1996 by Daniel J. Barrett.
This article may be freely distributed as long as it is distributed in its
entirety. It may not be included in any publication without the written
permission of the author. So nyaaah.