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%% The Humor Department                                                 %%
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David Pleasance annonunced the new Amiga bundle for the coming Christmas.
New Amigas will now come with the Spanish Inquisition bundled.

Market analysts commented, "We knew that Pleasance had to come up with
a new shocking bundle, or else the Amiga will not survive, but we
didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition!"

Several men dressed in nice red uniforms, and lately seen with Mr.
Pleasance, replied: "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

P.S.    Rumours have it that the new slogan in Amiga adverts will be
        "buy it or else...".
P.P.S.  It's a vicious lie that Amigas sold with this bundle will
        receive free "support" from BLAZEMONGER's "Customer Service".

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In an earth shattering announcement, Intel said it will stop producing
computer chips as of this September. It will instead start producing a new
line of computer fries. A company spokesman said "Intel has always been an
innovator, as our x86 CPU line clearly demonstrates. Now we have leapfrogged
the entire industry by introducing what may well be the most important
invention of the century."
  Computers incorporating the new line of fries will now be marked by a
"Filet Inside" logo. Indeed all such computers will come with a slice of
cooked fish inside. "People have said in the past that some of our processor
chips are hot enough to cook on. This is indeed a feature, and our new
fries line will take full advantage of this," said Intel's spokesman.
  The first in the series of fries will be the Aquarium. This replacement to
the Pentium has the advantage of having enough space to put a fish on it.
In addition all new Intel fries will have a built-in FPU, or Food Processing
Unit. "In the past there were always cases when the CPU wasn't fast enough for
the application, and people had to go and make a cup of coffee while waiting
for the computer. With our new fries this will no longer be necessary. Now,
when the CPU is busy working, the user will be able to open the machine, and
a hot cup of coffee will already be waiting for him."

  More information on this new "Filet and Fries" initiative will be posted
as soon as it becomes available.

[Thanks to Eyal Teler for a good laugh. -Ed]