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%%                         The Humor Department                          %%

Operating Systems

By Bill Wilson, Rob Freundlich, Dag Gillies, and others
in Usenet's rec.humor.


Did you ever wonder what driving to the store would be like if
operating systems ran your car?

MS-DOS:  You get in the car and try to remember where you put
your keys.

WINDOWS:  You get in the car and drive to the store very slowly
because attached to the back of your car is a freight train.

OS/2:  After fueling up with 6000 gallons of gas, you get in the
car and drive to the store with a motorcycle escort and a
marching band in procession. Halfway there, the car blows up,
killing everybody in town.

UNIX:  You get in the car and type GREP STORE. After reaching
speeds of 200 mph en route, you arrive at the barber shop.

Windows NT:  You get in the car and write a letter that says, "go
to the store". Then you get out of the car and mail the letter to
your dashboard.

OS/400:  An attendant locks you into the car, then drives you to
the store where you get to watch everybody else buy filet mignon.

Taligent/Pink:  You walk to the store with Ricardo Montalban, who
tells you how wonderful it will be when he can fly you to the
store in his Learjet.

S/36 SSP:  You get in the car and drive to the store. Halfway
there, you run out of gas. While walking the rest of the way, you
are run over by kids on mopeds.

MacIntosh System 7:  You get in the car to go to the store and
the car drives you to church.

OpenWindows: you can't drive the car because the hood ornament completely
blocks your field of view.

AmigaDOS 3.0: You get in the car and it drives you to a great little
store no-one else in town knows about.