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/// The "Official" Smiley Guide
    Found somewhere on Usenet

 :-o    Wow!                       :-c     Real unhappy
 :-|    Grim                       :-C     Just totally unbelieving
 := |   Baboon                     :-B     Drooling
 :-v    Speaking                   :-,     Smirk
 :-V    Shout                      :-||    Anger
 :-w    Speak with forked tongue   :-)     Smiling
 :-r    Sticking tongue out        :-(     Frowning
 :-*    Oops!                      '-)     Wink
 :-T    Keeping a straight face    ;-)     Sardonic Incredulity
 :-D    Said with a smile          %-<I>   Drunk with laughter
 :-x    Kiss kiss                  :-"     Pursing lips
 :-[    Pouting                    :-#     My lips are sealed
 :-X    A big wet kiss!            :-P     Tongue hanging out in anticipation
 :-Y    A quiet aside              8-|     Eyes wide with surprise
 >-<    Absolutely livid!!         &-|     Tearful
 |-{    "Good Grief!"  (Charlie Brown?)
 :-}    "Thish wine tashted pretty good"
 8-]    "wow, maaan"
 8-O    "Omigod!!" (done after "rm -rf *" ?)
 :-,    "Hmmmm."
 |~(    "Someone just busted my nose".
 :^D    "Great! I like it!"
 B-D    "Serves you right, dummy!!"

The Unofficial Smiley Dictionary

:-)   Your basic smiley. This smilie is used to inflect a sarcastic or
      joking statement since we can't hear voice inflection over Unix.
;-)   Winky smiley. User just made a flirtatious and/or sarcastic remark.
      More of a "don't hit me for what I just said" smiley.
:-(   Frowning smiley. User did not like that last statement or is upset
      or depressed about something.
:-I   Indifferent smiley. Better than a Frowning smilie but not quite as
      good as a happy smiley
:->   User just made a really biting sarcastic remark. Worse than a :-).
>:->  User just made a really devilish remark.
>;->  Winky and devil combined. A very lewd remark was just made.

Those are the basic ones...Here are some somewhat less common ones:

(-:   User is left handed
%-)   User has been staring at a green screen for 15 hours straight
:*)   User is drunk
[:]   User is a robot
8-)   User is wearing sunglasses
B:-)  Sunglasses on head
::-)  User wears normal glasses
B-)   User wears horn-rimmed glasses
8:-)  User is a little girl
:-)-8 User is a Big girl
:-{)  User has a mustache
:-{}  User wears lipstick
{:-)  User wears a toupee
}:-(  Toupee in an updraft
:-[   User is a Vampire
:-E   Bucktoothed vampire
:-F   Bucktoothed vampire with one tooth missing
:-7   User just made a wry statement
:-*   User just ate something sour
;-(   User is crying
;-)   User is so happy, s/he is crying
:-@   User is screaming
:-#   User wears braces
:^)   User has a broken nose
:<)   User is from an Ivy League School
:-&   User is tongue tied.
+-:-) User is the Pope or holds some other religious office
`:-)  User shaved one of his eyebrows off this morning
,:-)  Same thing...other side
|-I   User is asleep
|-O   User is yawning/snoring
:-Q   User is a smoker
:-?   User smokes a pipe
O-)   Megaton Man On Patrol!  (or else, user is a scuba diver)
O :-) User is an angel (at heart, at least)
:-P   Nyahhhh!
:-S   User just made an incoherent statement
:-D   User is laughing (at you!)
:-X   User's lips are sealed
:-C   User is really bummed
<|-)  User is Chinese
<|-(  User is Chinese and doesn't like these kind of jokes
:-/   User is skeptical
C=:-) User is a chef
*<:-) User is wearing a Santa Claus Hat
:-o   Uh oh!
(8-o  It's Mr. Bill!
*:o)  And Bozo the Clown!
3:]   Pet smiley
3:[   Mean Pet smiley
d8=   Your pet beaver is wearing goggles and a hard hat.
E-:-) User is a Ham radio operator
:-9   User is licking his/her lips
%-6   User is braindead
[:-)  User is wearing a walkman
(:I   User is an egghead
<:-I  User is a dunce
K:P   User is a little kid with a propeller beenie
:-0   No Yelling!  (Quiet Lab)
:-:   Mutant Smiley
      The invisible smiley
.-)   User only has one eye
,-)   Ditto...but he's winking
X-(   User just died
%v   Picasso
C=}>;*{O)  Mega-Smiley... A drunk, devilish chef with a toupee in an updraft,
                          a mustache, and a double chin

Note: A lot of these can be typed without noses to make midget smileys.

:] - Gleep...a friendly midget smiley who will gladly be your friend
:) - Happy
:> - hmm, let me think...
:D - Laughter
:I - Hmmm, not funny!
:( - Sad
:[ - Real Downer
:< - what pretences!
:{ - oh boy, the headmaster!...
:O - Yelling
;( - Crying
[] - Hugs and
:* - Kisses

  :-`   smiley spitting out its chewing tobacco
  :-1   smiley bland face
  :-!           "
  :-$   smiley face with it's mouth wired shut
  :-6   smiley after eating something sour
  8-)   smiley swimmer
  :-*   smiley after eating something bitter
  :-&   smiley which is tongue-tied
  :-0   smiley orator
  (:-(  unsmiley frowning
  =:-)  smiley punk-rocker
  =:-(  (real punk rockers don't smile)
  +-:-) smiley priest
  :-o   smiley singing national anthem
  :-p   smiley sticking its tongue out (at you!)
  :-[   un-smiley blockhead
  :-]   smiley blockhead
  :-{   smiley variation on a theme
  :-}   ditto
  {:-)  smiley with its hair parted in the middle
  }:-)  above in an updraft
  g-)   smiley with pince-nez glasses
  :-   undecided smiley
  :-/   lefty undecided smiley
  :-|   "have an ordinary day" smiley
  ;-)   winking smiley
  :-<   real sad smiley
  :-x   "my lips are sealed" smiley
  :-c   bummed out smiley
  :-v   talking head smiley
  :-?   smilely smoking a pipe
  0-)   smiley cyclops (scuba diver?)
  :<    midget unsmiley
  :>    midget smiley

:-)     ha ha                   ~~:-(   net.flame
|-)     hee hee
|-D     ho ho
:->     hey hey
:-(     boo hoo                   X-(   net.suicide
:-I     hmm
:-O     uh oh                    >:-I   net.startrek
:-P     nyah nyah                3:o[   net.pets
|-P     yuk