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/// The Humor Department           Jokes, Quotes, Insults, Shameless Plugs

From FidoNet/Usenet

Area: AMIGA                                   Date: 30 Jul 93 19:42:11
From: Bill Sidhipong (1:115/300.0)
To  : All
Subj: Spam is dead.

Hi All,

Tongue-in-cheek humor follows: beware.
This is a repost of an article from usenet.  Enjoy.

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From: akersse@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Elwix of Style)
Newsgroups: comp.sys.amiga.misc
Subject: Spam is dead.
Date: 28 Jul 1993 22:01:09 GMT
Message-ID: <236sv5$>
Reply-To: akersse@NeXTwork.Rose-Hulman.Edu (Elwix of Style)

Ha. It looks like I get the last laugh after all. All you Spamoids
who didn't believe me, well, now you can eat your words.

Even if Spam is not "officially" dead, it might as well be. Even the
staunchest consumers admit that Spam is far behind the other industry

Reputable sources have told me that 35% of the Spam research and
development team have been laid off. Another 40% are slated for dismissal
in the near future. Other meat by-product manufacturers are already far
ahead of Spam in quality and taste.

These cuts in the development team can only mean that Spam will fall
further behind. Don't hold your breath for the new 50% Fat-Free Spam;
Dinte Moore is already selling a superior 95% Fat-Free meat by-product,
and at a fraction of the cost of Spam. And you mightaswell forget about
Corned-Beef Spam and Turkey Spam - with so much of the development team
gone there is little chance of getting one new upgrade out, let alone

By next year, Dinte Moore and other meat by-product manufacturers will
have pushed the by-product technology even further. Even if 50% Fat-Free
Spam makes it to the market next year, it will not sell nearly enough
units to help Spam out of their financial troubles. They have reported
significant losses in each of the last 5 quarters. Besides, Oscar Meyer
has plans to introduce a new line of calorie-free ground turkey which
will leave 50% Fat-Free Spam in the dust. And what about the new Smoked
Pigs Feet from Eckridge? According to an article in Meat magazine, the
Eckridge Smoked Pigs Feet "really smelled like home-cooked pigs feet.
The taste was noticeably snappier [than Smoked Spam] and satisfaction was
almost instantaneous."

Spam has abandoned it's customers. In the past 28 years, we haven't
seen one decent upgrade. Spam is still using basically the same old
ingredients as it did when released way back in the 40's. In my opinion,
Smoked Spam was not a reasonable upgrade - only something to make Spam
consumers happy while the company floundered.

50% Fat-Free Spam --- too pink, too slimy, no thanks.

 ()()    "Spam tastes so good, I've gotta get my fork!!!"
  /          --- Stupid Spamoids when Smoked Spam was introduced

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  In case you're all wondering, the above post was a response to Marc
  (of-course-he's-in-my-kill-file) Barrett's peice on "AGA is dead".

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   Even if AAA makes it to the market next year, it will likely be slower than
graphics cards for VL-bus and PCI-bus systems systems by then and -- most
importantly -- locked into a system that runs VERY little software.  I thought
for a while that it might be nice to see a system with the AAA chipset tied to
a PowerPC CPU, but I no longer think so.  By next year, there will likely
be cards available for PCI-bus (which most PowerPC systems will use) that
will leave AAA even more in the dust.

   AAA -- too little, too late, no thanks.