Contents | < Browse | Browse >


/// The Humor Department           Jokes, Quotes, Insults, Shameless Plugs
    --------------------


Found on Usenet (author unknown)
--------------------------------

                              A BILL  
                   (to Regulate the Hunting and   
                     Harvesting of ATTORNEYS)   
 
Any person with a valid New Mexico State Rodent or   
Snake hunting license may also hunt and harvest attorneys for   
recreational and sport  non-commercial  purposes.
   
370.02  Taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted.   
The use of United States currency as bait, however, is prohibited.
   
370.03  The willful killing of attorneys with a motor vehicle is   
prohibited, unless such vehicle is an ambulance being driven in   
reverse. If an attorney is accidentally struck by a motor vehicle,   
the dead attorney should be removed to the roadside, and the   
vehicle should proceed to the nearest car wash.
   
370.04  It is unlawful to chase, herd or harvest attorneys from a   
power boat, helicopter or aircraft.
   
370.05  It is unlawful to shout, "WHIPLASH," "AMBULANCE," or   
"FREE SCOTCH" for the purpose of trapping attorneys.
   
370.06  It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW,   
Mercedes or Porsche dealerships, except on Wednesday afternoons.
   
370.07  It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of   
courtrooms, law libraries, health clubs, country clubs, hospitals   
or brothels. 
  
370.08  If an attorney gains elective office, it is not necessary   
to have a license to hunt, trap or possess the same
.   
370.09  It is unlawful for a hunter to wear a disguise as a   
reporter, accident victim, physician, chiropractor or tax   
accountant for the purpose of hunting attorneys
.   
370.10  Bag Limits per day:
   
              Yellow-Bellied Sidewinders                2   
              Two-Faced Tortfeasors                     1   
              Back-Stabbing Divorce Litigators          3   
              Horn-Rimmed Cut-throats                   2   
              Minutiae-Advocating Chickensh!ts          4   
              Honest Attorneys --  Protected  Endangered Species